Personal Style & Self Confidence

I'm entering kind of a weird time in my life. I'm settling into my job, my house, my responsibilities, becoming an adult and assessing my independence but one thing I've been really into lately is my personal style and my body image which both of those things depend on the other.

I've never been a "stylish" girl. I've always worn pretty neutral things, browns, blues, greens, sometimes purple and ALWAYS black. I have about 10 different black dresses in my closet. I like simple stores, ala Gap, Old Navy, JC Penney, New York & Co. The more simple my clothes are the better.

But I feel like all of that starting to change. I'm getting more into clothes and shoes, accessories, jewelry and most of all, makeup. (Maybe this stumbling onto the world of YouTube beauty gurus but that is a completely different story)

I have to dress up, fix my hair, do my makeup every day for work. This literally sucks.

When I was in college, I work makeup on Friday and Saturday nights, always had a ball cap on, wore sweatpants and Uggs on the daily. I cherished the semesters I took dance classes because that gave me an excuse to wear sweats (not that I really needed one). My junior year I dressed up more than usual because I had an executive position with our Student Government and I had lots of "important" meetings to go to.

But now that I'm a working woman I have to wear dresses, slacks, makeup, etc, etc. At first I thought this was a complete downer but now I'm getting excited for fall fashion and shoes - except there's one problem.

It's not fun to shop unless you're skinny.

It's really true. When I was a size 10, I loved to go shopping and buy high heels (There's this secret that no one tells you when you're skinny it's easier to walk in high heeled shoes. It's like an automatic talent you receive for being thin) and clothes and jackets and bathing suits, etc etc.

But now that I'm a size 16 it's not that fun anymore. Every time I look in the dressing room mirror is a little bit more depressing. It makes me want to get back to a size 10 (actually size 8 would be my actual ideal) and all I end up buying is black dresses. My boobs are too big to fit into anything, my arms look weird, and I'm constantly having to buy things to cover up my core. I avoid clothes, and invest my money in jewelry, shoes, purses, etc.

But I think things might be about to change - at my job there's an "Employee Wellness Program" where you are assigned a personal trainer and nutrition coach (both students completing their capstone project) and they work with you for 8 weeks to complete your fitness goals.

FOR FREE.

I'm really excited to get some (semi) professional advice and someone to teach me how to eat and work out properly.

I plan to document my 8 week program on this blog (I hope I get good trainers) and maybe at the end of the project I'll have some more high heels in my closet.

Ciao,

Mal xoxo